“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9)
Thursday, June 18, 2020.
This would have been the most-awaited wedding day of Bianca and Ben. The setting would have been in a picturesque winery by the lake in the dreamy city of Kelowna. It was to have been their dream wedding, a celebration with families and friends from many different parts of the world, followed by a three-week honeymoon in Italy.
They got engaged more than a year ago today and the wedding planning started soon thereafter. Back then, everything lined up perfectly for them. Ben was a budding pilot flying to many national and international destinations. Bianca just finished her co-op internship and was in her final years of obtaining her engineering degree.
They planned for their special event and had poured a lot of time, money, energy and effort into every single detail. Invitations have been sent out, bridal entourage has been lined up, airline and hotel reservations have been made. As mother of the bride, I could not have been more joyful that my daughter is marrying the love of her life, the one person who has the greatest ability to make her smile. Plus I was very excited at the prospect of hosting a mini family reunion for my relatives from the Philippines, Australia and the US. It would have been such a wonderful family event.
Except that we didn’t plan for Covid-19. We didn’t plan for trip cancellations, for lock-down and quarantine, for business shut-down and for all the grief and devastation the pandemic would cause us and our guests who were all looking forward to this big day.
Robert Burns popularized this famous quote: “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. Didn’t someone also say “what we plan for ourselves isn’t always what life has planned for us”?
This invisible virus had shown its immense power of disrupting plans and causing everything to go haywire in one flick of a finger. Just like that.
And it isn’t just wedding plans. It’s also graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, family reunions, even funerals. The pandemic has brought the world to a grinding halt, and many lives have been turned upside down. Why, oh Covid, why?
When the couple first heard the news, they decided to wait it out. They thought that since June was still far away, they had time. But when businesses started to shut down, when airlines cancelled flights, and social distancing became the norm, they realized that trying to anticipate the turn of events was sapping away their joy and anticipation for the big day. It was such a stressful time and they could no longer feel being excited about the wedding.
They considered other options, such as maybe a backyard wedding, or a wedding with just families in attendance or even a virtual ceremony. They even joked about elopement. It may have worked for others but clearly, none of the options was for them. They could not imagine their big day without the very important people in their lives to witness their union. That would seem like a betrayal of their deepest heart’s longings.
The disappointment of having their best laid wedding plans derailed is a hard pill to swallow. Covid-19 definitely has thrown a wrench around those plans. After waiting it out for some time, they cancelled their original plans amidst heavy and grieving hearts.
In the context of the bigger crisis brought by the pandemic, their situation pales in comparison to the untold suffering of millions who lost their jobs, the multitudes who grieved their loved ones and the many others who experienced the havoc wreaked by Covid-19. But for two people in love and wanting to spend life together, a wedding is such a big deal. Thus, they do have the right to sit in sadness and grieve for the dream wedding that is now gone.
Fast forward to present. Now that travel restrictions have loosened a bit, the excitement of planning for a smaller and private wedding is back. A new date has been set. 2020 or 2021? Your guess is a good as mine.
Regardless of where and when the wedding is taking place, they’re learning one very important thing that you and I are also learning: Covid-19 may have altered the best-laid plans. But Covid-19 didn’t put their lives and relationship on pause.
And come to think of it, since the Covid-19 pandemic started, they have been closer to each other now more than ever. With so much time in their hands, they have more quality time together. I would say this is probably one of their best moments together as a couple as they prepare not just for their wedding, but more importantly for their marriage. Their future wedding may be far from their original vision – there is no picturesque winery by the lake – but strong marriages are not necessarily defined by the perfect wedding day. Sometimes, a reset is all we need to gain wisdom and an enriched perspective.
I end with this quote: “When life throws our plans out of whack, we sometimes think we are being buried. However, we are actually being planted”. And God allows our roots to be so firmly established deep down as catalyst for further growth, so we can face the future with courage. That’s true not just for Bianca and Ben but also for you and me.
Traversing This Path 